MAYBE IT WASN'T LOVE, OR MAYBE IT WASN'T ENOUGH

"What is the worst thing about love?" Even after knowing the harsh reality about them, we still want them.

You chose him because it felt like heaven in his arms. You chose him because you trusted him more than yourself. You chose him because he proved to you that true love still exists. You chose him because he made you smile in your hard times. You chose him because he supported you every time, and he still does. You chose him because you loved him more than anything, you still do. But maybe all of this wasn't enough, for both of you. Maybe he wasn't the one for you, even though deep down you wanted him to be. 

It wasn't love when he held you so tight that you felt your broken pieces were back together. It wasn't love when he hung up on you only because you wanted to hear the sound of his voice. It wasn't love when he held your hand and promised you the world, but now I see your world shattered like the pieces of your heart. It wasn't love when you would crave for him and he would take you for granted. It wasn't love when you would cry at night but smile for him the next day and he never noticed the agony behind that pasted smile. It wasn't love when you told him his friends were making you overthink and he blamed you for it. It wasn't love when you would eagerly wait for your phone to buzz with his name but end up looking at your dejected face on the empty screen. And trust me darling, it wasn't love when you finally decided to walk off and he came back to you, in indirect little ways, just to treat you better.

Nowadays, don't you feel you can't do anything anymore? You can't look for anyone else because your heart still belongs to that one person! don't you try to look for someone else? It just doesn't happen for you anymore, right? Nobody gives you those chills again. Nobody makes you feel the same way again. Your heart and your mind just can't accept the fact that someone else would be there. You miss the way they treated you when you first started talking. You want that same person over and over again. You just keep thinking, "I'd never find a love like that again. He was the love of my life. Nobody can ever replace him cause he is made up of such beautiful specific details.", right? 

It's the most confusing when you guys know there's a connection between you two, but you guys aren't officially together. But you guys aren't just friends either. 

"Can we start our friendship again? This time, I promise not to fall in love with you."

XOXO,

Sanch.